It’s so hard to believe that this time a week ago I was eagerly anticipating my weekend away at QuiltCon! That weekend, even though it had a rocky start (the torsion spring in my garage door broke, effectively trapping my car in the garage so that delayed my trip a little), was a whirlwind of volunteering, attending a great class, and spending time with friends, new and old! I came back tired and inspired and yet haven’t had a minute to sit down and create something fun or beautiful since I got back.
I realized something about myself in the last week or so, I have a hard time just sitting on the sidelines. I want to participate (which is why I spent half of my time in Austin volunteering for the show), I want to be known as someone, I want to do something awesome. But I also have to remind myself to just slow down and enjoy the time I have there. Honestly, it was very difficult to come back to the reality of a messy house, changing diapers and working 40 hours a week outside the home.
I had to made a tough decision last week, even though I want to be involved in everything, I realized that I need to take a step back. I need to refocus my life. I want to create beautiful things. I want to do what it says in the picture and create things that set my heart on fire so that I can be proud of them and excited by them and not feel dragged down or obligated to create something. I want the awesomeness that I know is hiding inside of me to shine through.
I hope if I can focus on that, I can start making something awesome and it will lead to more balance in my life. I don’t know if work/life balance is just a myth. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who truly seems able to balance being a mom and working full time and having hobbies. Something probably has to give at some point. I just know it can’t be my job or my family. I guess it’s only really possible to find balance when you have two forces pulling on you. Right now I have at least three forces and I’ve been confused about what I should give the most attention to.
OK, that’s it for my ramblings right now. I hope to check back in again soon.